Learning Not to Miss What’s Right in Front of Me

My Sundays aren’t the same anymore. As I sat quietly this morning, I was reminded of those days when my homeboy Zac and I would scurry out of our houses to make it to the mandatory 7 a.m. prayer at church. I thought about the countless Bible studies and Sunday school classes, all the years of prepping sermons, teaching series, and prayer services. I thought about the relationship I supposedly had with my Savior. Today’s quiet time felt a little sentimental, because in that stillness, I realized how much of what I called relationship was shaped more by religion than by truly knowing Him.

While thumbing through the Bible App on my phone as my stomach growled, I read John 14:9. I couldn't help but sit back in my chair and humbly sigh. Jesus turns to Philip and says, “Have I been among you all this time without your knowing me, Philip?” That question feels like it was directed straight at me.

But here’s the thing, I’m not bitter about it. I’m grateful. Because like Philip, I’ve been in church for about 30 years, and for much of that time I was still asking, “Lord, show us the Father.” Even after witnessing miracles, experiencing grace, and watching impossible things unfold in my own life, I still found myself longing for proof of what had been right in front of me all along. Looking back now, I can see that even my misunderstanding was a gift, honestly; it gave me perspective. Without it, I might never have learned what true relationship with Jesus actually looks like.

Religion shaped me to believe that if I just showed up, served faithfully, sacrificed, honored leadership, and remained loyal, that somehow I was walking with Jesus. The buzzwords were obedience, sacrifice, and loyalty. But what I rarely heard emphasized was relationship. A real, personal, alive relationship with Jesus.

For a long time, I thought I had it. But in reality, I was following systems, traditions, and people more than I was following Him. It wasn’t until I stepped outside of that environment that I began to realize I had been walking with Him the whole time, but I was blind to the intimacy He wanted with me. Like Philip, I was standing right in front of Jesus and still asking Him to show me what had already been revealed. And while that truth stings, I’m thankful that He let me see it now rather than never.

I remember reading the poem "Footprints" years ago. You know the one, the person looks back over their life and sees two sets of footprints in the sand, but notices only one set during the hardest times. And Jesus says, “It was then that I carried you.” I thought I understood that when I first read it, but now, decades later, I see it with new eyes. He’s been carrying me far more than I ever realized. And the beauty is, even in my confusion, He never let me go.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once spoke about “willful ignorance.” Looking back, that’s where I was, choosing not to see what was right in front of me. Jesus said, “The one who believes in me will also do the works that I do.” And yet I wasn’t. I was told to “mark the perfect man” and follow leadership as they followed Christ. The problem was, I ended up just following leadership. I confused serving an institution with doing the work of the Lord, even when what I was doing didn’t resemble Him at all. But even in that, I can now say thank You, Lord, because those years taught me the difference between imitation and intimacy.

That realization hurts, but it also frees me. Because I don’t want to make the same mistake again. My desire now is simple: to really know Him. To live out a relationship that looks like Him, not just church activity. To not miss the Father who has been walking with me all along.

And maybe you’ve been there too. Maybe you’ve been in church for years, serving faithfully, showing up, doing all the “right things,” and yet still feel like you’re asking, “Lord, show us the Father.” If that’s you, let me encourage you: don’t confuse activity with intimacy. Serving has its place, but nothing replaces relationship.

Here’s what I’m learning now, and what I hope helps you:

• Slow down and listen. Don’t just do for Him, spend time with Him. Read His Word like a conversation, not just a checklist.
• Look back at your own “footprints.” You might realize He’s been carrying you in ways you didn’t recognize before. Gratitude opens our eyes to His presence.
• Test what you follow. If it doesn’t look like Jesus, love like Jesus, or sound like Jesus, it probably isn’t Him. Leadership and community can help, but they can’t take the place of knowing Him for yourself.
• Believe Him enough to walk it out. Jesus said, “The one who believes in Me will also do the works that I do.” That’s not just for “super saints.” That’s for us.

And here’s the thing, I’m not even mad about the years I spent missing it. I’m grateful. Because without that journey, I wouldn’t understand the difference between religion and real relationship. Those experiences opened my eyes to what isn’t Jesus, so I could finally see more clearly who He really is.

I’m thankful that even after all these years of asking the wrong question, Jesus didn’t turn away. He’s patient. He’s gracious. And He’s still showing me the Father in ways I never saw before.

So if you’re still asking like Philip, don’t beat yourself up. Just open your eyes. He’s been walking with you all this time. And just in case you need some encouragement this morning, listen to this after you read this blog: Phil Wickham – Relationship (YouTube)